A Boy's Own Story

Edmund White

That name - and the title of this post, which is the title of the first of his semi-autobiographical trilogy - mean a lot to me. If you're reading this, they may or may not mean a lot to you. Which is fair. Literary stuff is not for everyone, Romance is a worthwhile genre and I celebrate (and share) your desire to read it. (And, to be honest, will fight anyone who looks down on it. Passive aggressively, probably.)

That being said, I tend to cast a broad net with queer literature, and I started this trilogy of Edmund White's at a time in my life where I needed some guidance. Not to come to terms with my own sexuality, which I'd done - recently, at that point, and fairly swiftly, with minimal angst - but to get a sense of my place in the world. Of my history, as a gay man.

I've recently had the chance to finish the trilogy - after finding out that there was more than one book. It's come at another strange moment in my life - where I'm figuring out what it means to write, and to be a gay writer, specifically. I've been pondering - and will continue to ponder - what it is I want to say in my work, and how I want to say it. This time round, I've found this set of books so meaningful because it seemed like Edmund White was once wondering similar things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm spared the pain and struggle of writing anything literary - a tough non-genre that, while I admire those who emerge victorious, the arena and art of it continue to confuse me. I'm a gen-fic writer through and through, and I'll probably be writing Romance, SciFi and Fantasy until the day I die. (With any luck.)

But I can't help but feel echoes between this book and my life. Not in the great moments or struggles of that he went through. I wasn't born and awakened to my sexuality in the world of silent gayness. I didn't live through the Stonewall Riots and the massive cultural upheaval they signified and started. And of course, I didn't live through the height of the AIDS crisis in the gay community, and watch my friends die.

Bu there were things that spoke to me there. A lot of them resonated for me as both a gay man and as a writer. The rapture of finding these immensely beautiful personalities in life, and feeling a depth of connection to them that no one outside of world of queers and creatives could ever experience. I think that's what permeates it for me - the amazing characters we come across in his books feel both familiar and new to me. Ridiculous and profound, brilliant and terrible - they're just like people I've met in real life.

And that hope I continue to meet - because they can be exhausting, but good god do they make life interesting. Not that I intend to ever write something quite like A Boy's Own Story or it's sequels. But everything I do write has little pieces of these real-life people in it, and with all my writing (but especially my contemporary fiction) I will continue to try and work the chaos of my life into a narrative that makes sense. (This shall be my greatest challenge as a writer, but hopefully very helpful for me as a person.)

In the mean time, I'll probably just come back to this trilogy every now and then - whether that means rereading it, or just remembering it fondly. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone - I don't think someone who enjoys my work, for example, would automatically enjoy this.

But if you enjoy beautiful prose, work steeped in emotion (that should particularly resonate with gay men) and a breath-takingly authentic walk through gay history - a history of people, rather than facts or figures - then I'd highly recommend it.

(I've provided a handy link to the Goodreads page,

so if you're interested, click the image below.)